10 Things to Do Waiting on the Ring
Waiting for the proposal can feel like you’re living in a rom-com on pause… but this season can actually be one of the sweetest times in your relationship. As a Cape Cod wedding planner, I see so many couples rush straight into wedding-planning stress the moment a ring hits the finger — but the truth is, the foundation you build before the proposal is just as important as the wedding day itself.
Here are 10 meaningful, marriage-focused things to do while you’re waiting on the ring.
10. Plan an amazing holiday date
Enjoy an hour and a half of Christmas magic with your love to kick off the holiday season and satisfy your inner child before the whirlwind of Cape Cod wedding planning begins.
9. Deposit Energy into his Love Bank.
It's hard enough being the guy that has to follow every kiss begins with k. He knows your scrolling habits and your expectations. He knows the cut, clarity and engraving on the ring you want, and now all he has to do is pull off the biggest moment of his life….. and yours while keeping his cool. Even though you've been in love for years and know each other intimately, he's still going to be nervous because he needs to get it right for you, his treasure, his everything. Depositing energy into his love bank will help him build the confidence he needs knowing that while the big moment will be memorable, he can do it even better if we just release some of the pressure off the top. He needs to know your unconditional love is for him and not the idea of him.
8. 25 Days of Love Language Countdown
Does he love voice notes from you while he's at work, having a nice dinner waiting for him, getting dolled up just to have a night in? Maybe the excitement in his eyes when an amazon box shows up with that small thing that's been in his cart for 2 weeks. Or maybe getting down and dirty and cleaning the tire wheels of his car if he's that guy! Speaking our partner's love language allows them to feel love in their own way. This is such an important marriage building block; learn the language and keep it coming. The difference between being in lov e and loving is just this; a conscious decision that adversity is the glue that holds marriage together.
7. Curate your Guest List
As a Cape Cod wedding designer, I can tell you: weddings begin and end with the guest list. Make your guest list, for your side anyway. Everything feels so leisurely now and its like the weight of a diamond propels a girl into hyperspeed mode trying to keep up with the latest wedding trends, going to 12 expos, and asking reddit for the pricing of all the vendors that why for the love of God can't they just tell you what they charge. But the truth is your wedding is so much more than a societal trend. It's a story that can only be told by you and maybe your trusted wedding planner! But all of this starts in one place. The budget. And what drives the budget? The guest list. Most couples in one sitting draft their list and it hits 150 in 5 minutes. And also in that same 5 minutes, you just created a minimum wedding budget of 80k. So think about it, What is the most you have to spend? What can each of you contribute to the wedding? Any financial help from parents? Draft the guest list with the budget in mind and budget with the guest list in mind. Decide who you want to invest in at your wedding. Is it the people or the experience that matters to you the most?? Build your guest list based on the values you want to hold tight to during the planning phase.
6. Recreate your first date
Reliving our favorite memories keeps our love fresh whether you went for a walk on the Sandwich Board Walk, had breakfast at the Popponesset Inn or a stroll through the Lavender Farm. We rewatch the same movie because we love the adrenaline we feel when finally lets loose on the tabletop signing her heart on to Benny and the Jets. Revisiting those raw emotions we felt on the verge of falling in love reminds us what the union is all about. And your love will see challenges arise through the process when you're on the verge of planning fatigue. When the thick of planning takes over, having a secure attachment to our partner allows the planning process to strengthen our bond instead of being tossed in the sea of Pinterest bridal doom scrolling. Having a professional during planning fatigue makes all the difference to so many couples.
“Shelby always replied quickly and gave the best advice. We live in a day and age where a quick response to texts and emails is so appreciated and helpful and she never failed to help my new husband and I calm down and give the best advice in a timely and efficient manner.” -Rebecca Delgado
5. Allow the Element of Surprise to Lead You
Should I get my nails redone, its been two weeks! What if it happens tomorrow and my nails are not reels ready? The hair color is fading and not as fresh, maybe I should get a touch up you know.. in case. When we live day to day in engagement FOMO we are losing opportunities to connect with the one who will be with you through far worse anxiety then these moments. Live each day for the sake of your love and not the idea of how your love will look online.
4. Disconnect
Put down the phone at least one day a week.It starts with “just checking an email” and ends with 204 more inspo photos on your mood board.
And suddenly, you’ve planned an entire wedding. I get it, some guys are more then happy to let you lead in the design but if you don't give him the chance, perhaps feeling left out will drive a wedge. Use your media fast to write some letters, connect with your future wedding party. Let the wedding planning wait so that you can do it together.
3. The Comparison Cringe
…especially in the age of reels, celebrity weddings, and “must-have” trends. Your moments will shine because they are yours and yours alone. The media is the root of all comparison envy. When we use reels to compare subconsciously what we want in our wedding, we build a version of our wedding that may never come to pass. Be realistic about what you and your partner want so that you can look at the celebrity weddings and think that's nice but wait until I get to tell my story through our union. The comparison trap is a strong, unyielding, unrelentless life sucking trap that will steal your joy and gratitude. Get ahead of it by putting your phone away. Down. This gets two places in our countdown because it's so important! Is it sinking in yet?
2. Read the Meaning of Marriage
(Or audio version on Hoopla!) Come up with a list of all the reasons you love your partner. Come up with another list of why you're ready to get married. Lastly, write down what marriage means to you. Then read Keller's book and compare with your notes! Marriage is a 50% divorce rate institution. In 50 years what will you have to show for your union? Understanding the purpose for your upcoming nuptials will ensure that you are wife ready, not just bride worthy. That you are truly husband material not just a handsome face behind the 30th pocket square you've tried on today.
Find peace in your partner
Write down a list of all your partner's quirks that you wish you could change about them. Then crumple it yet. Better yet burn it. You're demonstrating an ability to accept your partner as they stand before you under the arch. It will never be as easy as it is today to forgive them because you're still in love. When the years pass by and you shift to loving your partner, forgiving can get tougher. But from day one before you ever say I do, you are committing to forgiving them for everything they have done or could ever do because when we treat marriage as the binding contract it's meant to be, there is no quick exit when the going gets tough. And that going can go go go baby. I've seen my friends lose unborn babies, have their roof torn off from a hurricane and bouncing from home to home for two years. I've seen pornography destroy couples, illnesses that the partner becomes an instant caretaker, mental battles that leave partners lifeless and without joy, financial ruin, career setbacks. Choose now that whatever life's uncertainties are coming for you, and they will come, choose now that your love is stronger.
Ok, ok, I owe you a bonus one since we talked about the phone thing twice. Is there anything holding you back from doing a mini professional couples counseling deep dive? If you're ready for marriage at worst, it will have wasted your time, but at best it could save your marriage one day.
So when your day does finally come, don’t forget to post your photo below and what you did during the final days leading up to the proposal! The winter brides of 2025 Collective!
Ready to turn this next chapter into a beautifully designed, meaningful celebration? Let’s bring your Cape Cod wedding to life with intention, artistry, and a stress-free planning experience. An experience that is rooted in your real romance, designing a wedding that is uniquely you highlighting all your experiences and not just another pretty Pinterest worthy celebration and have fun along the way! Let's put the technology down for in person mock ups of your sweetheart table and really get to know each other in a deeper bride to planner relationship. As your planner, learning your communication language is just as important as couples learning love languages to engage with you in a way that helps you to visualize the bigger picture.
